masihkah ada cintamu?

hell…

masihkah ada cintamu

seperti yang lalu terhadap diriku

kau tak seperti dahulu

maafkan diriku andainye aku bersalah

-Lydia’s Diery, Masih

i’m just listening to them…a bit late i guess…but seriously…nice tune..love it! sedap..rangup..lazat lagu2 mereka….

and aku nak mengambil kesempatan untuk merasa bangga juga..dgn muka tak malu…hahaha…

“Lydia’s Diery was being named during 2004. The band name was being inspired by a diary owned by a mysterious girl named Lydia. It was the moment when 2 of the band members hang out in cafeteria and suddenly found the diary.They read the diary, and thus, via the SADNESS story of Lydia’s life, they’ve being inspired to create songs based on Lydia’s life.” -lydia’s diery, myspace

based on Lydia’s life huh..

pity her…sadness….love addiction..suffering…..hmm…seems like i recently ‘heard’ those…cliche huh?

whatever….i said i moved on right?!….jeezz!

ok! since aku nak mengada2 taik kuda…bilakah mereka nak amek aku sebagai cover album mereka…hahahahahah…..(muntah)

check out their blog too…

hm…..

biler pula ada band nak buat lagu guna diary blog aku pula? hahahha..Lydia’s Blog…kalau ada…lagu2 dalamdemo tape itu mesti mempunyai judul2 seperti:

1. ayam yang ku langgar

2. hidung berdarah

3. basikalku

4.  samseng

5.  lipas

bunyik mcm haram ajee…hahahhaha….apepun best of luck…sila bawa nama aku korang lebih tinggi supaya aku korang lebih glamer…
nota kaki: apelagi..yang tak pernah dgr..sila pegi dgr..

nota kaki panjang: tiada lagi cinta……..lydia..admit it! let go…and live…

markah anda..

what’s up?

can i just stop with the heart-frowning-aching-breaking post…??!?!?!?

WTF?!

get over it dude….he left…so what?……you got life to live!!!

moving on!!!

ok…whatever….

1. work..

another phase of boredom and hatred…last meeting attended was all about

“dear filthy workers…you’re puny…shut the f**k up and don’t bother to question management decision…you have no right to speak..and to ask why..”

duhhh??!

2. melaka trip

courses…………..C+

food at resort ….A+

chef at resort……A- (good looking….jgn marah dude…hahah..sarah tensen dia tegor2 and berbual2 ngan aku and gdot aje….hahahaha)

food at Alam…….F—– (kucing yang makan friskis sure pandang rendah lauk and makanan kat alam…makan kat asrama dulu pun tak seteruk itu…)

jonker walk……A….best..jalan2 leh lupa diri..hahaha…suke..suke…

pool…….C….besar…best..cantik..tp tak pernahnyer org takde…dari tingkat atas nampak mcm lalat2 aje org2 yang pegi pool…rammmmmai yang amat..nak berenang pun tak selera..dgn budak2 yang creative main air macam kena rasuk hantu…

jigs……….C…..sepanjang kat melaka aku,jidot,sarah and tini try belajar dance..dari aerobik bodo2, how down throw down miley cyrus..sampailah step hiphop tayao and ferly (sila tgk sendiri kat youtube)….step dah dapat..tp smer kaki sumbang….sekali pandang mcm obor2 dalam aquarium…lawak giler…adeh tak leh blah…gelak guling2 tgk gaya sesama sendiri…muntah

karok…..B….tiga hari gi karok..suara sampai takde…terus jadik seksi2 husky2….tempat karok tak la best mana…lagu pun zaman2 purba kala…lauk sekor2 nyanyi….geli bulu telinga mendengarnyer…tp memandangkan nak have fun punyer pasal..belasah saja…hahaha…

3. cerita kl

aku memang anti sket ngan kl/selangor…..smer sebab jalan dia…tak pernah sekali aku pegi kl tak sesat…mcmana nak pg bangi aku sesat sampai ke tol sungai ramal? tak ke mangkuk..peta ada..direction org bagi…sesat juga…aku rasa signboard kat kl smer sabotaj aku…kuangngajo…aku tak hengen duduk sana..bagi aku GPS yang 100% accuracylah baru aku leh duduk kl…kalau tak..tuka balik jalan kat kl tu..takyah nak bertingkat2…bongok! (emosi yang tidak berasas!)

3.1 kl…midvaley…

sesi keluar bersama2 kensel…maka jalanlah aku sensorang…yang pasti aku carik NOSE…kat jb haritu tak jumpa!..so aku lepaskan kempunan aku…sejam lebih juga aku duduk kat kedai kasut…tak keluar2…org yang jual sure dah syak aku nak curik kasut…lalu..aku rembat juga 2 pasang! puas hati aku…walaupun aku sedih sedikit…tp retail therapy memang effective…more relieving than killing a guy…i chose killing earlier…but since it’s not worth it..so i decided to buang2 duit saja….hahhaha

3.2 kl….jalan tar

dah lama aku tak gi sini…tp kalini kejap saja aku pegi…sekali lalu saja jalan…tak sampai sejam…sempat rembat 5 helai selendang baru…gumbira

***retail therapy phase 2 completed***

nota kaki: malas nak bagi entri bernas….(pernah ke?)

nota jari kaki: aku nak buat report pulaklah…lantak…

waiting…

and waiting….

and

waiting…..

damn…

i’m a dreamer

i’m a dreamer…

there are so many things that i’ve always wanted…until sometimes…i just don’t know what i really want..i’m confused..i’m so weak that i can easily fall for something…can easily touched by something…easily laugh for nothing…and……and can easily cry..when i’m sad…and when i’m happy…

they say…talk is cheap..and..for my term…it is tears…easy….perhaps…my tear drops has no values…too easy……

last night i watched damages…and i’m kinda triggered with what Hewes said…

“no…love’s nuthin..love’s easy…they came out of you, you love them…what you do after that is the hard part…..”

sigh….i played it back to back and pondering…..hmmm…

do you really think it’s easy?…

…perhaps it’s not that true…

..but still…it could be…

..i’m a dreamer…all that i’ve always wanted…are always something that i’m not really sure….

i have family…lovely parents….funky siblings…hyperactive kiddos cuzs..i’m happy…

i have friends…some guardian angles….my up and down…shoulders to cry on…i’m happy…

i have a job…a good job…good opportunities….ok..management sucks..but ignore it…adorable friends….i’m happy

Opened up it’s revealed

Savour this

Dont get lost in a lie

Hit or miss

Beside, my self, with doubt

push on what’s to come must be proved

Focus bliss

Charcoal stares

One foot at a time

Smear those lies

I thought I found (once i fought)

What I always wanted

Bear with me (bear with me)

I thought I found (once i fought)

What I always wanted

Bear with me (bear with me)

Certainty

Not at hand

I can’t keep my eyes shut

Chose not to listen

I thought I found (once i fought)

What I always wanted

Bear with me (bear with me)

I thought I found (once i fought)

What I always wanted

Bear with me (bear with me)

I got what I wanted

I got just what I always wanted

I got what I wanted

I got just what I always wanted

Once I Fought

still…i’m a dreamer…

waiting..and wanting…uncertainties…

f***!

nota kaki: manusia memang tak pernah bersyukur…

nota kaki tersepit: ape kes cakap omputih?

nota lagu: kittie-what i’ve always wanted (Oracle)…..love them…

blood.com

my nose keep bleeding….no reason…no excessive heat…no pain..no headache…no flu….no dizziness……it just running down from my nose….

what’s wrong with me?

kini…hanyalah tinggal kenangan

malam semalam aku layan karok…

girls night out…setalah aku ngan sarah berjaya goda2 jidot untuk turut serta, kami pergi lepas dinner..

puas juga melalak perasan suara lunak…bantai lagu pelbagai genre…yang rock keras takdelah…

memula konon nak melalak satu jam aje…bila masing2 dah naik hantu..topap lagi sejam..hahaha…

antara lagu yang menjadik pilihan adalah lagu…kini…huhuhu..layan..pasal ape aku pilih, aku pun aku tak tau..main tekan aje…

Kini hanyalah tinggal kenangan

Tiada ku rasa dalam genggaman

Hanya terdaya mengimbas

Semua kenangan yang lalu

Tiada kata ucapan di bibir

Takku sangka kali terakhir

Kini kau tidak akan

Kembali lagi

syok jugak layan lagu lama2…ape cerita feminin sekarang…dulu feymes…zaman aku sekolah rendah….hapal smer lagu…sekarang dgr balik memang syahdu2 aje..

minat sampai aku terus teringin nak potong rambut boy cut…peh…jgn harap mak nak bagi…merajuk hentak2 kaki pun lum tentu dapat…hahhaha…

layan video ni gak…

mcm lawak sket pun ade…step joget pun simple..mcm senam robik…hahaha..tp zaman dulu step tu dah tahap ranggi habislah konon…siap aku cuba nak ikut2 joget…prektis belakang kelas…gaya nak best…rambut tocang dua zaman sekolah rendah…..hahahaha..apepun…lagu2 mereka masyuk…

*******

i want to be happy……i deserved to be happy….or am i??

Hari bapa?Abah?

“harini ni father’s day ke?” azim tanyer aku ahad lepas..

“hmm..second sunday of june…hell yeah…” aku jawab konfident!

“ok thanks”…

hahahhahah..mangkuk! Mother’s day second sunday of may!! father’s day third sunday of june!!! yennaday! apekah?!! adhoi!! sori azim!!!miscalculated!! hahahahahaha…

maka..aku rasa aku ngan azim antara org yang wish kat bapak masing2 minggu lepas…hahahahhahahaa……

maka….sempena hari bapa yang cambest ini..abah telah bagi aku safety boots yang baru….sgt cun!!! aku sukeeeeeeeeee…

eh? wait a minute? aku tak salah taip kan?….

please re-type those back!

sempena hari bapa yang cambest ini..abah telah bagi aku safety boots yang baru.

??????

ok?! ape kes hari bapa aku yang dapat hadiah?!!!?ngaaaaaaa…malu..malu….

aku ada cakap haritu aku nak safety boots baru…tgh survey…sekali abah dah survey..ada promo..so dia rembat and dia kata “pakailah”….wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

cun?! dem cun giler…

waklakakaka….barulah terasa diri ini best!ok aku suke!

aku tanya abah…dia nak ape? dia bagi msg yang sgt jiwang with some fatherly advise dan aku sgt terharu….ngaaaaaaaaaaaaa….sedday! sedday!

Selamat hari bapa…ABAH~~~~!!

****************

kejap lagi mau pergi wedding ipin….

hari ini..hati aku macam kosong…sunyi…(even aku ada boots baru..)

suuuuunyi sampai terasa pedih bila seolah2 ada angin lalu dalam ruangan hati aku yang sepertinya kosong ini…

aku nak basuh toilet…..anggap tiada apa2 berlaku…sekian…

back to basics

please dont leave me

Da da da da, da da da da
Da da da da-da da

I don’t know if I can yell any louder
How many time I’ve kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
da da da da-da
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is….broken

Da da da-da da
Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I’ve never been this nasty
Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don’t mean it
I mean it, I promise

Da da da-da da
Please don’t leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don’t leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can’t be without, you’re my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I’m sorry.

Da da da da, da da da da
da da da da-da da
Please, please don’t leave me

Baby please don’t leave me
No, don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me no no no
You say I don’t need you but it’s always gonna come right back,
It’s gonna come right back to this.
Please, don’t leave me.
No.
No, don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me, oh no no no.
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this

Please don’t leave me
Please don’t leave me

How did I become so obnoxious?…What is it with you that makes me act like this?…I’ve never been this nasty…Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest…But baby I don’t mean it…I mean it, I promise…And I need you, I’m sorry…

…checking on the calendar….why i’m so fucking broken?!…did my cycle of ‘monthly mood-swing’ already in the corner..?..nope…shouldn’t be this early…as healthy normal woman…it shouldn’t be…then..why?…

i’m suppose to be strong…suppose…but why i keep falling…keep being so naive…being so stupid…did i lost my mind?…

owh..c’mon~~! stop being like a puppy…shaking tail for attention…dem….couldn’t help it…be a lil bit tougher…

footnote: i’m not a puppy…

mengarut…terkejut…

selepas bergayut2 style kepit handphone ngan bantal ngan kepala tanpa memegangnyer…aku yang tak berpakaian proper untuk tidur itu terus maintain di posisi yg sama atas sofa sampai pagi…terkejut!hahaahaha..

mimpi memang takleh blah…mimpi patahkan tgn adik aku..disusuli aksi harimau putih follow keta aku ngan sarah dari belakang…yg tak tahan harimau tu dapat naik keta kami duduk seat belakang pastu tepuk kepala kami berdua guna paws dia yang putih gebu itu..comel..ngeri dan cemas…tp comel…bangang pun ade..

bangun pagi yang secara terkejut itu aku terus lipat2 kain..basoh2 selendang..layan facebook..blogwalking…blogwalking sampai tersangkut kat blog awek yang masuk tv3 haritu…sampai kat entri ni aku sentap kejap..terus terflashback barang pelasmaines 7 tahun lepas…

“kak lyd!!” suara riang2 junior bilik depan…
“kau…oi rambut pelangi?! amek gambar!amek gambar!“
“yeah!” jawab minah cute tu…

haha…aku tak ingat sgt cerita muda2 dulu…tp budak ni memang sweet..punk..sweet…baik soft spoken..last sekali jumpa dia masa aku tgh berator cucuk duit masa final year tak silap…heheh..pastu…aku tak dgr cerita…yang pasti sihat lagi orgnyer…hell yeah…she’s damn cool…

malam td pagi karok..satu room ngan fazil, ipin n sarah…belasah lagu rossa..agnes..perasan suara cam best..lantak…sumbang pun sumbanglah..nama pun ‘meyumbangkan’ beberapa buah lagu…ipin potong stim  buat suara latar masa aku nyanyi…monyet!hahaha…

hari ni BOSET lagi…version helicopter! yihaaa!!